The Media is a Barbie Ad

Think about the typical commercial on TV, whether it’s for makeup or cooking utensils- who are portrayed as the beautiful, dauntless damsels? Most likely, they’re tall, white, skinny, thick-lashed, full-lipped, nearly symmetrical, and quite often blonde. To me, that sounds like a Barbie doll. How about a sports equipment ad or an action movie? The leading men all seem very similar. They’re strong, tan, muscular, dashing, buff, surrounded by scantily clad Barbies, and did I mention that they’re pretty ripped? It looks like G.I. Joe and his buddies made it to the party.

Why this is a Bad Thing

Every girl and every guy is expected to fit these narrow standards of femininity and masculinity, people who don’t are considered lesser, and the world will continue to run smoothly- that’s how our society works. However, very few people do fit these stereotypes. There are other ethnicities than Caucasian. There are other body types than stick-thin (with a large bust, of course) and extremely muscular. Not everybody plays football, or likes boybands, is a fashionista, a corporate king, has a face like a goddess, or works out every day. There’s nothing inherently wrong with these things individually, but the way our society portrays it, you have to have all the “right qualities” and more to be happy and successful. The message is everywhere- TV, ads, song lyrics, movies, commercials, even the descriptions in books- sometimes subtle, sometimes blaringly loud. Nearly everyone has been bombarded with images of false perfection and wondered, “Am I normal?”

No. You are not normal. But I’ll tell you a secret- no one really is. And if they were, the world would be so, incredibly, boring. We’re told that we all have to be Barbies and Joes. The truth is, though, the real world is frankly much more interesting than the Barbie Dream House our society tells us is ideal. It’s full of different cultures, different personalities, different passions, different people. Instead of identical, plastic Barbies and G.I. Joes, it’s populated by entirely unique people, each one full of different components that make them interesting. Still, the media and businesses push that “perfect” image of those fake dolls so hard, that not only do people believe that they have to fit these societal standards, but many of them expect the same of others. Too many people don’t realize that being different is as much a part of us as having hearts that beat. You can’t punch the different out of someone; you can’t bully it out of them. Still, people will scorn and hit and laugh and wear at someone until they’re tired and broken and scared: too scared to show what’s inside. Sometimes they hit so hard -with words, actions, or fists- that we fashion ourselves into a thing like them and let our different go. What’s inside will always be there, but some people bury it so deep that no one will ever see it again. We all change naturally over time, some people change us, and that’s okay, but some people damage us. That isn’t. Some things hurt us, some people hurt us, but if we let them make us compromise our real selves, we let the pain win.

Alternatives to Hate

Changing ourselves to stop the hate might seem like a logical course of action, but what if someone accepted you for who you really are? What if we could be different, proud of it, and accepting of people who are different than us? Wouldn’t that give us the strength to survive hate and challenges, and take action against it? Sometimes it is easier to give up, when other people are too ignorant or hurt to do anything but hurt us; but just like there’s rejection in the world, there are people who will reach out to you. Sometimes you need to find people like this. Sometimes you need to be them: someone who proudly wears their own brand of different and accepts others for theirs, someone who knows that even though we’re all different, we’re all equal.

It’s easier to stay with the crowd and march along with everyone else, but you’re so trapped that if you ever take a step in your own direction, you’re trampled by everyone going against you. It’s better to break away from the horde, find your own path, and stretch out a helping hand to that other person you see pushed to the ground. Being your authentic self is hard sometimes, but it doesn’t have to be lonely; if you reach out to others, some of them are bound to take your hand. Even the worst of challenges seem easier when there is someone by your side who accepts and supports the real you, instead of just the mask you put on. Just keep on being the best version of yourself that you can be and be accepting of others. We don’t live in the “perfect” Barbie Dream House that the media tells us we should. There’s too much weird, exciting, dangerous, awesome world out there for there to be room for that. Tackle it head-on, and chances are, you’ll find a place you love where you really belong. And the best part? The Dream House isn’t real. The crazy, awesome world is.

What you can Actually Do About it and Why you Should Try

Some people will read this and laugh, or shake their heads, or just ignore the words completely. Maybe they think these words are stupid, but why is conformation and bullying less stupid? According to cdc.gov, “for youth between the ages of 10 and 24, suicide is the third leading cause of death. It results in approximately 6400 lives lost each year.” That many teens and young adults alone were miserable enough to end their own lives. Do you want to a) contribute to that number, b) do nothing, or c) help people, the world at large, and yourself? Maybe option c seems impossible in your situation, but here are some simple things anyone can do. (Unless you’re a hermit, in which case, enjoy your solitary lifestyle.)

1. Spend one day where you promise to be only your honest self, without trying to be like a Barbie or a G.I. Joe. It might be tricky, but it’s worth a try.
2. Have a conversation with someone outside your usual social circle. If you can, try meeting/introducing yourself to someone very different from you. It might broaden your horizons, and theirs.
3. No-bullying day: for one day, pledge not to tease, hit, or bully in any way someone because they’re different or because you disagree with them. Kids, teens, and adults can all hurt people, whether bullying or not. Spending a day focused on empathy will help prevent that. Also, if you’re being bullied, don’t just ignore it- reach out, stay strong, and remember not to fight fire with fire.
4. Try something you’ve never done before. Anything that broadens your horizons of the world works: you can visit a new place, try an exotic food, start a new sport or hobby, anything. Treat yourself to a change and experience more of the world.

If you can do these things all of the time, that’s great, but every bit helps. Really. Even if it seems impossible or pointless, even a little change helps. So why not give it a shot and break away from the Barbie/Joe worshipping culture? Why not accept that no people are the same? Why not see the world for the crazy, epic thing it can really be? The right thing is never the easy thing, but it’s the most rewarding in the end. The person we really are is never the “perfect” doll that society tells us we should be. The media may push the ideal life as a Dream House full of plastic dolls with tiny, superficial, “perfect” lives, your own life might feel dreary or miserable or lonely or boring, but it doesn’t have to be. You might have to take baby steps, but why let that stop you? Give it a shot.

-Lily Fox