Selling your Soul: a Bad Tactic for Making Friends

          Sometimes the right path is lonely. The road less traveled always is. It can take a lot of strength to keep doing what you feel inside is right, especially if you feel like you're in the struggle along. It hurts when you're wondering if you've made a wrong turn and there's no one by your side, I know. There have been days when I've thought I would sell my soul if only I could have a friend, and many people do just that- well, close enough, anyway.

          I've known so many people who felt so alone that in the search for someone who would accept theme, they'd lost themselves, trying too hard to be somebody they thought could be accepted. Sure, sometimes we absolutely have to hide a tiny bit of our light so we can do something for ourselves or someone we care about that will be totally, completely worth it, but remember: pretending to be someone you're not will never gain you any true friends. Maybe changing yourself will get you temporary compliance, but that person isn't agreeing with you, they're agreeing with a mask- and on top of that, it's also manipulation, which isn't a great habit to get into either. Every time you censor yourself, you're telling a little lie: not just to others, but to yourself as well. No wonder it's so easy to lose track of who you really are in this world of pretenders.

          Of course, some of you already know this. Some of you are probably thinking something along the lines of, “but I don't act like a fraud! I just try to be strong and brave! It's just that no one seems drawn to my strength and bravery.” Strength and bravery are great things, and it's awesome if you strive to have them. If those two qualities alone don't seem to be getting too many allies, though, that may be because your situation is lacking in a certain third ingredient.

          Let me be clear- there is no “secret trick” to winning real friends. Making connections might be harder for you if you're an introvert, or maybe you just haven't met the right people yet. It's true, sometimes it really is necessary to “wait until the right time.” However, I've made an observation that I think you guys should know. In my opinion, there's a third quality that seems to hasten that spark between people: passion.

          It doesn't have to be for the exact same thing, so don't try to force it so that a specific kind of person will like you- that's just telling another lie and entirely defeats the purpose. People's true selves and the things they are most passionate about always overlap more than a little, and one often represents a part of the other quite nicely. Pursuing things you are truly passionate about often shows your true self very well, and it might draw just the right people towards you.

Don't just follow your dreams, chase them and stalk them through the dense jungle until you can pounce on them in one flying leap. Don't just plan your goals, fight for them with your last dying breath. As long as you stay open to and accepting of all different kinds of people, you might just find a best friend or true love along the way.

          In short, I believe that finding real friends isn't just about “being yourself”. It's about doing what you love for reasons that are near to your heart.