The Death of Doctor Who: A Nod to Someone who was Proud to be Different

          I'd like to note that according to an article at BBC News that can be read here, the death of John Clews was a manslaughter, not a murder. Still, the gang violence that took his life serves as a reminder of how the different are often seen as less- and how we often lose so many people that way, whether they are lost to conformity or to the hate they get from those who refuse to accept them. Hate crime isn't something to be taken lightly.

PICTURE FROM BBC NEWS

           From change.org: (The petition can be viewed and signed here)

          "In 2006, Bromsgrove resident John Clews, known to locals as "Doctor Who", died after an altercation with local youths in the town centre. His death shocked the town and stands as a reminder of how those who are different or eccentric can be ostracised and victimised.

          A statue in memory of John will remind us all that we should cherish our differences - after all, what do they matter, as long as we remember to be nice to each other?

          It will also show than when awful things happen as a result of human behaviour, that there is no need to respond in kind, and instead we can come together and make something positive out of what has happened.

          RIP John Clews."
          
         Thank you to my friend Shaun for bringing this story to my attention.

Plus-Size Model is so Awesome, Ellen DeGeneres Applauds Her

          Have you ever seen a video of an interview so amazing, you just want to hug the interviewee? This is one of those interviews. Some say that Robyn Lawley, a plus-size model, is fat- she begs to differ. Here's a  video of her amazing interview on the Ellen show, where she says the most sense about female body image I've ever heard anyone say. Please watch! 

Racist Little Nine-Year-Olds

          When I was in fourth grade, racism became real. Obviously it had been real before that, but not in my world. In my world, it didn't matter that I was biracial, or my friend was Chinese, or my dad was Hispanic, or my teacher African American. I knew about racism, but race didn't matter to me- people were just people. One year, in just elementary school, I got a rude awakening to how racism could affect everyone, even me. That was when I realized that even kids as young as nine or ten had already learned to be... Well, racist. 
          I remember one day at recess when  I was hanging out with my friend Hannah* when some of the kids started up discussing good pairings for their classmates (fourth graders, am I right?) when someone suggested to Tyler* that he and Hannah* would make a good couple. He just blinked in confusion for a moment before saying, "I wouldn't date someone like her. She's black." He didn't even say it in a mean way, and it definitely wasn't a joke. 
          Once at lunch, I was sitting next to Will*, when he frowned at looked down at his lunch tray. "I don't like beans... Anyone else want them?" 
          "Ask Lily," Dylan* replied. "I bet she likes beans, I mean look at her." That was annoying. Call me a terrible Mexican, but I hate beans. Assuming that I liked them because of my skin color wasn't okay. 
          My point is, misconceptions and prejudice about race start at a young age. No one is born this way, but children learn by imitation. And once they stop imitating their parents, who do they look to for an example of "cool"? Us. Teens. We show the next generation how to behave, and when we behave in a racist manner, we just ensure that this will go on generation after generation. We don't have to, though. If we just treat each other as equals no matter skin color or country of origin, people will take note. The next generations will learn by imitation, and if the people they imitate are diverse and accepting, then they will be too. 

*indicates a name change in order to protect person mentioned

The Three most Damaging Words to a Little Boy

          Hello, readers!

          Today I have something directed at the guys out there... Have you ever been told anything like "man up!", "grow some balls," or "boys don't cry"? Chances are, the answer is yes. Sadly, society at large has decided that masculinity means being buff, tough, and never showing emotion. I can't imagine having to go through life like that. Guys should be allowed to be sensitive or emotional as they see fit, and the gender stereotypes in our world are extraordinarily limiting. Most people view females as the most oppressed by society and the media, but here is a great video about how our culture and its screwed up standards of masculinity can damage guys so much. 
          -The Fox

          

       

Seven Steps to Being a Superhero

          Everybody wants to be a superhero. Everybody. I used to want to be Spider-Man... Even though I'm a girl... Don't ask. Anyway, my point is, everybody wants to be a hero, even if it isn't a super one. Now, I don't know about you, but I'd rather fight discrimination than the Green Goblin.  The Harry Osborn version of him was actually pretty cool, better than Norman Osborn anyway. The point is, here are some steps that anyone can take to being a hero.

1. Identify and accept what makes you different. Write down some of the things that you, not anyone else, believe defines you, and write why that is a good thing. Know where your beliefs and individual quirks originated and why they are important.
2. Challenge yourself to do something different. Join new a club, take a new route to work, try a new restaurant, etc. I know that I keep repeating this one, but it really pays off. 
3. Keep learning. Meet a diverse spread of people, read a wide variety of books, and through it all, keep an open mind and learn about beliefs other than your own. But always remember to...
4. Wait before you judge. Just because somebody isn't like you or isn't like the societal stereotype doesn't mean that they're "bad" or "wrong". Please, give people a chance before you make any decisions about them, don't make assumptions.
5. Make sure everyone is heard equally. Don't let labels get in the way of hearing what everyone is saying and treating them as the equals they are, and include everyone despite what you may have assumed about them in the past.
6. Speak up. When you see examples of discrimination, don't just let it happen! Stand up for the victim(s) and make a positive impact. You don't realize how much this could mean to people, and doing the right thing is always good.
7. Fight for change. Once you change your own mindset about discrimination, you can start to change other people's mindsets too. As Ghandi said, "In a gentle way, you can shake the world."

The Murder of Kitty Genovese and Taking Risks

      In 1964 a pretty nasty incident occurred. Catherine Susan "Kitty" Genovese was walking from the dark alley where she had parked her car to her apartment, when a man attacked and stabbed her. She managed to escape after being seriously injured, stumbled away towards the apartment, was stopped from entering the building by a locked door, and was caught and once again stabbed by her attacker, and didn't survive the ordeal.
   

          The interesting thing about this tragedy is that in original reports, it was stated that many neighbors were aware of the attack, but strangely, none did anything about it. Although these reports were later proved inaccurate, it inspired a vast amount of psychological experiments that all came to the same conclusion: the more witnesses, the less likely each one is to help. This has been dubbed both "the bystander effect" and "Genovese Syndrome". But why is there a bystander effect? Why does more really equal less when it comes to seeking help? It's because everyone takes social cues from each other. 

          If a person falls down in the street, and you walk by, you might think to yourself, "Oh no! That person could be having a seizure or a heart attack or something. Maybe I should help them. But they could just have tripped over a shoelace or something, then it's not that important." You might look around and see if there's anyone else nearby. If there isn't anyone else, all responsibility falls on you and you're much more likely to think, "What if it is a seizure? I should check just in case." If there are lots of people though, not only does that diffuse responsibility, but you'll look for social cues from them. No one else seems worried, so you relax. The reason no one else is worried is because they're thinking the same thing and taking social cues from you. 

          The same thing goes for reaching out to other people. I know a lot of people who are scared of being open. Sometimes I'm scared of being open. But sometimes you've just got to be that person who breaks away and reaches out, because chances are, that other person is wanting to reach out to you, but taking social cues from your apparent apathy. Don't be afraid to try talking to someone, and if you're feeling doubtful, keep this Mark Twain quote in mind- “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than the things you did do." This also has been proven by psychological studies, so don't be afraid to try reaching out to people. If they reject your hand, their loss. If not... You just beat the Genovese Syndrome. 

New Year's Eve 2014: Resolutions and Cookies

          Happy New Year! 

          It's shortly after midnight where I am, and I am really psyched! Tonight's been great for me, probably my best New Year's Eve ever. Karaoke machine + closest ten friends + cookies = happy Lily. But How was your New Year? Please post in the comments!

          So I promised I would post with my resolutions, and here it is. 

          I have three resolutions. The things that I would like to affect are myself, those directly around me, and the world at large. 

1.           Myself- I want to promise myself that I will practice my yoga every day because it makes me feel happy and keeps me healthy, but I also that I will not let negative messages around me distort my positive image of my kickass, curvy, healthy body. No body dysmorphic disorder relapses! 
2.           The world around me- never insult anyone, or judge them. I want to make sure that I'm always kind with my words, but I want that kindness to be genuine, not just politeness. Judging people is also unfair when we never really know their stories. I only want to make (tactful) negative comments when they're intended to be helpful.
3.           The world at large- make at least five blog posts a week, no matter how small, and keep trying to spread the positive message of acceptance and self acceptance. 

          Enough about me, though, how was your New Year? Even if you don't have any resolutions, what are your plans for 2014? Please post in the comments!